For everything there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3.1

Sometimes you just need to trust.

There are no answers.

I feel that I am definitely entering a season in my life, where trust is the only thing that makes sense.

So many of us are dealing with issues that we thought were going to be years away. Our parents are getting older, and in many cases becoming dependent on us. Our children are facing futures that are not quite as secure or as bright as we have led them to believe they would be. We are dealing with illness, senility and death. And an economy that just feels like it is taking longer to recover than we hoped. Winter....

So what keeps us going? I have to trust in a better future no matter what today looks like. It just makes sense to me. I believe that the lessons that we are learning today are helping us become the people that we are meant to be. It's not an easy journey, and often it seems like our days in the valleys are deeper and colder and longer than those days on the mountain top. But man, when you are on the mountain top, it takes your breath away! Summer...

I wake up in the morning, knowing that whatever my day will bring, there is a lesson to be found within it somewhere. I am learning compassion with those who need me right now and trust that whatever I am doing in the latter parts of their lives will be remembered somewhere along the line. I am learning to trust in another dimension, another place that will give our souls the freedom to be everything that we hoped to be. A place where Love is the only answer. I am learning patience with the younger generation and trust that when they fall, I have given them the tools to pick themselves up, without any assistance.

It's a risky proposition this trust thing. But the alternative sucks. So I am going to continue to trust in a better world for my grandchildren, a better economy and future for our kids, a warm and safe and loving environment for my older family members, and an incredible Heaven for those who have journeyed ahead of me. I will trust in a God that is so much bigger than anything that I could possibly imagine and that loves me more than my mind can acknowledge. There is no way that my God would allow winter to go on forever. No, I will trust in the changing of the seasons......

I'm sorry, we're not home at the moment......

It seems like yesterday that we had the opportunity to add voice mail to our home telephone accounts. Now THAT was technology enhancing our lives for the better. No more having to stay home and wait for a call. It was incredibly liberating to be able to run to the store and not miss out on what could be a life changing (or more likely an evening changing) event. There were still cords on our phones (albeit you could purchase one that almost went around the block) and cell phones (if you could even find or afford one) were the size of an industrial toaster. But life was good because we had voice mail!

It takes me to the whole idea of Facebook today. It seems incredible to me that we are able to connect with friends that are halfway around the world and with whom we may not have seen or spoken to in several decades. A few weeks ago, someone befriended me on Facebook. She and I had been close buddies during middle school and our freshman year when her mother up and moved them to Faro, Yukon. There was no way of communicating except through snail mail and well, you know teenagers, there's always something better to do than write a letter. Before long, our friendship had dissipated and there was no way of knowing where she was and what paths her life had taken.

It was almost like seeing a ghost when her name came up and asked me to be her friend (again!). What a joy to connect with someone who remembers me when I wore those really cute super big bell bottom ocean blue cords. (I know I looked hot in those cords!) We reminisced a little, but more than that we have reconnected with who we are today. She has 3 boys that are similar ages to my kids. In fact, her son and my daughter share the same birthday! It's almost like we are catching up on 30+ years of lost time.

When I first signed up for Facebook, I was astounded at the amount of time I was spending on it. After all, checking out photos and sharing my status was time consuming. Was this just another way of postponing the inevitable house cleaning and dinner making? It wasn't long that I was realized that I was connecting with friends and family that I haven't seen in years. Having moved away from Canada a dozen years ago, it was an effort just to keep up with immediate family matters, never mind the people who shared my life so many years ago. But with this new technology, I am able to reconnect and stay in touch with many of them who have a place in my heart. I am actually getting to know some of them better than I did back then. But all of them are precious and represent a part of my childhood, high school and college years that I don't want to forget. I can't think of a better way of spending a few minutes then to peruse their family photos and see where life has taken them.

So now, I make my cup of coffee and get myself comfy in front of my mac and plan to spend a few minutes or a few hours with an old friend(s). It makes me smile every morning as I check to see what latest and greatest things are going on in their lives. Where are they performing? When is their latest cd/book/thesis releasing? When are they getting the new house, new baby, new grand baby? Who are they cheering for? Where was their last vacation and with whom? It warms my heart to see my brothers and nieces and nephews and cousins and their children and their children's children. How else would I know what the weather is in Timmins? Or keep up with what is going on with everyone's life.

So, when someone mentions that they don't have time for Facebook, I am just thankful that I do have the time for these amazing re connections. My life is richer now that they have stepped into again. It's like having another child. You think you don't have room to love another one like you did the first child, and yet, when they arrive the loves is endless. And I know that they know things that I may not want posted? I had better keep an eye on that :)

So, all in all, I feel that Facebook has been a blessing. What if they had called to tell me about their lives and I didn't have voice mail?

Just because I don't believe it, doesn't mean it isn't true

A couple of evenings ago, a group of women from my church gathered in my home to share. We do this on a weekly basis to discuss our faith goals for that week and where we fell a little short. It's an accountability group designed to keep our spiritual life on track.

Our discussion topic this week was "Do I trust in God or fear evil?" This made some of us come face to face with our Catholic Christian upbringing. The majority of us, whether it be in the US or Canada or Mexico, admitted that a lot of our Catholic foundation was built on fearing evil. We grew up before the Vatican II changes, when much of our Catholic education was based on following all the rules. We did everything possible to avoid hell! The idea of mercy didn't have a chance in a small child's mind filled with fear and darkness.

One of our members is a new Catholic Christian. Having converted to the Catholic church 5 years ago, she often brings a new way of thinking to our table. She is not tainted with a historical view of our religion, rather offers a different lens to see things through. Her viewpoint, often different from ours, feels like a breath of fresh air, or at the very least a platform for a great discussion.

Now I may not be able to agree with everything she says, but I do respect where she is coming from. I realize that each and everyone of us is dealing with issues that color our daily lives. Our backgrounds, upbringing and worldly experiences help to shade and tint our realities. Once you get to our stage of life, there is not much we haven't seen or heard. Although there is much of it that I wish I hadn't. I don't believe in black and white.... there is way too much gray out there.

I didn't really want to debate our Catholic dogma or doctrine, or even comment on discipline or devotions. No... I just felt compelled to acknowledge that we are all different, with different ways to approach things. God loved us that much that he made us all individuals with a wide range of gifts and talents. What one brings to the table, is usually something that another lacks.

So when all was said and done and the hugging was over, I was thankful for another viewpoint. And besides... just because I don't believe it, doesn't mean it's not true.

Why this blog?

In early March, my daughter prompted me to start a blog. While I did set up a family blog, I still felt attracted to the idea of posting my dreams, thoughts and feelings about the world around me. I am still pondering my first real subject matter, but needed to put these keys into action and give this blog a christening, otherwise I would still be sitting here.... pondering.

I look forward to placing my thoughts on paper, as opposed to voicing them to those who don't really want to hear them. (Boy, will my family and friends be happy if this actually catches on!)

Pondering.......